Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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