just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
