So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
