they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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