went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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