i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
