Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
