If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
