These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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