im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize