escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
