This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
