Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Welp...herpes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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