Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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