Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
