You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He called his prostate his "boner button".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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