Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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