And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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