I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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