kristin has been a bad kristin
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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