I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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