Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
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Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
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Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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