is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
