Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
