I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
