2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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