woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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