when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
