what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
