He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
