I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
