I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
