We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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