Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
