At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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