May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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