Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
