More tranny stories later!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
