I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
