I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
