you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
