Having a random hookup so left but love u
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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