Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
