We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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