He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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