I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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