just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
