so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
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In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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