We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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