I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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