i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
