You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
