Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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