Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
