I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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