he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize