yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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