Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
