I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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