omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
tell me about the eggs
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
