Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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