just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
