Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is my gift to your gina
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
