The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
