I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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