Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
