don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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